When someone falls in love, they dedicate all their mental space to the person they like. From waking up to going to sleep, and even during sleep, thoughts of that person fill their mind. They may not be part of the other person's life, but they believe they are. This situation becomes even more absurd in one-sided love. In that case, a person moves forward with many misconceptions. Often, the other person doesn't even know anything about it. Even if you are aware of the reality, you might not want to believe it. You want to live in delusion. Like I did.
I thought I was a part of his life. But no, I am not. I was living under a misconception, in a hallucination.
Most of the time, he doesn't text me back. It's like I'm sending texts to my own inbox, with no hope of a reply. I ask him, "Are you ignoring me?" He gives me thousands of nonsensical excuses. And I believe them.
I should not suffer for him. He is not mine. Thinking about him is a waste of time. I have always wasted my time giving more importance to the people I love. What is the benefit? They don't even remember me. To this day, none of the people I have loved have thought of me. Maybe the problem is with me. Why would they pick me? Even though I thought I was extraordinary, I never was. Why would they love an ugly, stupid girl?